How to leave your church

America has become very transient.

My grandfather’s generation was so brand-loyal, they would continue to go to their church until almost everything had dried up and they continued to support their church no matter what.

My father’s generation was also fairly brand-loyal and remained with the church although toward the end of his pastoral experience, you began to see people checking out other churches, running to what were the “hottest’ revivals, “being led to another church now” kind of excuses.

My generation and those behind me are not brand-loyal and will often drive past many churches in their community to find the one that “meet their needs“–as if that is the reason you attend a church– and as such the pressure on pastors and leaders to perform became greater.  This mindset began what I call a consumer mentality in our churches that looks like marketing the difference between Target and Walmart for churches.

“This one has better parking, music, bigger kids programs, etc.”

What makes it tough is trying to pastor and lead in this generation. Pastors who don’t stay “tuned in” will find that people have chosen to leave the church for reasons that are not know and the leadership is at a loss as to why. Believe me, pastors feel this strongly and hardly does one leave a church that the pain is not hard on the pastor and the leaders of the church because it feels like you failed the people who are leaving.

Tim Stevens has written an excellent piece here on how people leave and how they should leave if they come to a decision to change churches. I think you will find it insightful if you are considering leaving your church or if you lead a church where people have left or are considering leaving.

Your feedback is welcomed!

4 Comments

Tim Hall  on January 13th, 2010

Excellent article Bishop, thank you for this. Hopefully every pastor will get to see this. God bless you and Kathy and continued prayers for complete healing

MARYLOU  on January 13th, 2010

BRO.ISACCS, BACK WHEN I WAS GROWING UP IN MY CHURCH, ANY THING START TO GO WRONG, TNE FIRST THING MY MOM WOULD SAY, LETS START PRAYIMG, CALL OTHERS THEY WOLD PRAY, WE DIDNT PRAY GOD REMEMBER THE PREACHER, WE PRAYEDFOR HIM AND THE PEOPLE OF THE CHUCH, WE ALWAYS GOT A PRAYER THRU PRAYER WORKS. SO, IF PRAYER WORKS, WHY ARE WE LEAVING THE CHURCH. PEOPLE ARE TELLING ME , THE PREACHER CANT PREACHER NO MORE, THE PEOPLE DONT PRAY NO MORE.THE OONLY THING I REMEMBER MY MOTHER SAYING PRAY AND FAST FOR YOUR CHURCH AND PASTOR NO MATTER WHAT!I DONT MIND CHANGE ,BUT FOR GODS SAKE DONT FOR GET GOD, RIGHT NOW I SEE PEOPLE WAYNE AND I HAVE KNOW FOE A TIME, GOING TO THESE EARLY SERVICES , FOR ABOUT AND HOUR AND A HALF, GET UP AND GO HOME, WELL , DID THEY PRAY, GO TO THE ALTER, GET ANOINTED, UNTILL GOD BLESSED THEM, OR JUST SAY HURRAY UP SO WE CAN GET GONE.GIVE ME A HOLYGHOST WELL SEASON MISISTER, PEOPLE THAT LOVES GOD! LEAVE MY CHURCHWITH OUT PRAYING, I REALLY WONDERWHAT GOD WOULD SAY OR DO, QUESTION?DID YOU PRAY, FAST, LOVE THE PEOPLE ,PASTOR, WHAT DID YOU DO?

How to Leave Your Church | The Chief Shepherd  on January 17th, 2010

[...] Link to Forward Leadership Blog [...]

Lee  on January 28th, 2010

Bishop - it is similar to the way people look at their jobs. If someone stays at a position for more than 3 years, it’s amazing. It may be because they need a higher-paying job, or advancement, or better benefits. Is that the reason people are leaving their churches? For advancement and better benefits? Self-examination for us all is good! I think Pastors need to ask themselves the questions–are we training, discipling, mentoring, allowing people to use their talents? I know that even still, there will be those who are looking for “greener pastures”, but when we do all we can to NURTURE the flock, and connect them–to interest groups,etc, I believe that less will be looking for “greener pastures”. God bless you and Sis. Kathy!

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